Gooooood morning, cyberspace! Today I come at you with frozen waffles, a Gilmore Girls mug of milk, and exactly 10 minutes before I have to leave for church. ‘Tis the breakfast of champions, you might say.
Almost two years ago, I moved out of my parents house and into a little apartment in the middle of nowhere Ohio. The move itself was bumpier than I would have liked (both physically and emotionally), but looking back, I can see God’s hand on the entire situation. Throughout that experience, I have learned a lot. I’ve been brought to my knees time and again, experienced healing in ways I never thought possible, and seen relationships restored. The road is still difficult at times, but there is one thing I know for certain through it all: God is in control. No matter what.
I bring this up because, through this entire process of moving and growing and learning, my creative pursuits fell by the wayside. It was almost like there was an invisible hand pressed against my chest, holding me back.
“Not yet, little one. Not yet.”
I struggled against it at times. I forced my own hand when I could. But every time I found myself in the same barren place. Creativity just didn’t come naturally to me like it once did. My stories didn’t feel right. Or maybe I didn’t feel right. And the excuses piled up until I couldn’t see over them anymore.
“School keeps me really busy.”
“Work is really hard right now.”
“I just don’t have time.”
It took another falling to my knees moment for me to gain perspective; I’m not promised tomorrow. I’m not promised everything my heart desires. But I have been given a gift. Words are God’s gift to me, and through them, it is my responsibility to share His love with the world.
It was a pretty revolutionary moment, to be honest. It’s when the little voice stopped saying “not yet” and gently whispered, “now.”
I got out my laptop. I read through the notes Past Mackenzie had hastily written to herself, and I started to write. It was agonizing at first. The kind of slow where you wonder if you’re actually making any sort of progress at all. But I held onto that voice deep inside that told me not to stop until I reached where I was going, and I wrote.
And I wrote.
And I wrote.
And I’m still writing.
Two years and many mistakes since I felt like my creativity had been extinguished, and I’m finally remembering where God wanted me all along–right here, listening to His voice as I write words that people may or may not read. I’m being gentle with myself. I’m remembering that not every day is going to be a good creative day. I’m learning that even now, I can embrace the mess and find my way using the compass of God’s Word. It’s a process–it’s my process–and for the first time, I’m finally choosing to embrace it.
In the next post, I’ll be going more in-depth on my current work-in-progress, as well as the deadline that my family has imposed upon me for this particular story. (It’s gonna be a wild month, friends. Wild. [in a good way!]) I’ll also be posting soon about my plans for fall, which include the college classes I’ll be taking and some other fun little projects I’ve got in the works! All in all, I’m extremely excited for this new semester. I think God has some really fun adventures planned for me, and I’m excited to use this little blog as my way of sharing that journey.
In the meantime, it feels really good to be a part of the blogsphere again. It feels good to be writing again. I hope this summer has been treating you well, my friends, and that all of your creative endeavors feel blessed by the Lord’s hands.
As always, until next time…
Mackenzie K. Writes 
Talk To Me, Peasants!